fuck life.

I'm so fuckin moody dude. Like, i don't even know wtf anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm just so unhappy with my life right now that, everything, absolutely everything has me sooooooo fuckin sad. I don't even want to be writing this right now. i just feel like staying in bed till Ivan gets home. i have so many things to say, but cant. so many different things, about so many different things. I hate the fact that i do not have a life. i sit at home, clean up after my kids and make food, and change diapers, give baths and clean some more. i don't have a job where i leave my kids with a baby sitter and see them 5 to 6 hours later...i don't go out with friends, i barely even have a handful of friends. I'm just soooo fucking tired of living this boring mediocre life. I want things to be different, and i know the only person who can make it happen is me. I'm going to do things this year the way i want to. And not just sit on my ass and watch life pass me by.