John, you know good things.

Fathers be good to you're daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers. So mothers be good to your daughters too.

holy C O W

I swear I'm so stupid. I do this to myself, all the time. I swear my mind will be the death of me. I have this one teeny tiny thought in my head... Then I get these other thoughts in my head, then I start thinking about all of this bullshit that I don't need to be thinking of and stress myself out. I absolutely hate it. I am, my worst enemy. I'm the biggest procrastinator. I slow myself down. I say I want things and don't stick to it or fiend for it. I obviously don't want it that much right???!! I swear I'm crazy. And pathetic. I can't stand myself. I want to be a completely different person. No....a BETTER version of myself. I'm jealous. Crazy. Loud. Ignorant. Lazy. Greedy. Glutinous. And masochistic....(but in a normal way, as in NON sexual like it says I'm the dictionary...) I mean. I just want to be the person I want to be already and I don't know what it's gonna take for me to get there. I'm sure this makes no sense at all to whomever is reading this...but, it makes perfect sense to me. I'm sad. Now, and always...I'm doing it to myself though. No one is making me sad, no one is hurting me. I am the responsible one. I see the things that I do and the way I am and it makes me completely sad. I see these people and pictures, and say to myself "this is what I want".... NO,NOT TO BE LIKE THE PEOPLE I SEE. I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE ANYONE ELSE. Like I said before, I want to be a better version of myself. I've always wanted to be skinny...but now I just want to be done with "wishing" to be skinny...I just want to be HAPPY with MYSELF...IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING UNHAPPY WITH MYBODY....am I making ANY SENSE????! But here's the thing, when I weigh what I've always wanted to weigh and look the way I've always wanted to look (when I have, my idea of a perfect body) I will be happy and satisfied. I'm a piece of shit aren't I? For thinking all of this shit.... Gosh. I feel pathetic. Am I dramatic? Am I being a drama queen ? This is honest to god how I feel. How I've felt for a long time. I'm just a scared insecure little girl. I don't want to be this way forever. Why can't I change the way my mind works? What's wrong with me? Jeez. F M L. I gotta quit this BS. Fuuuuuuck.FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUUUUUUUCKKKK. Ugh. That's so ugly. Okay. Fuck.

You played it to the beat.